I'm supposed to be packing, as we're leaving for the airport to fly to Chicago in about 7 hours, but I've been meaning to do this for a while and was suddenly struck by the urge to do it now. Nothing motivates like trying to procrastinate on another, less enjoyable task.

I saw the link to this idea on Ali Edwards' blog, and I just fell in love with it. Put simply, make a list of things you want to do in your life. Then start doing them, crossing them off your list. How satisfying to be able to do tangible things that you know will enrich your life! I'm going to keep a list here on my blog and cross off and add things as I do them or feel inspired. This is a great reminder to do the things that are really important.

Off the top of my head:

1. Learn and perform the "Time of My Life" dance from Dirty Dancing with Conrad.
2. Be able to do an unassisted back handspring.
3. Visit Iceland.
4. Take beautiful photographs.
5. Write my two books. (I have two book ideas.)
6. Learn to drive a stick shift.

You should make one. If you do, link to it for me. I like to read about other people's goals.  

I think if anyone overheard me and Conrad talking together, they would be totally confused. A good number of our conversations couldn't be assignd meaning by even the most astute cultural anthropologist.

(I walk past Conrad in the hall.)
Conrad: You ignored my bum.
me: Was I supposed to not ignore it?
Conrad: I stuck it out.
me: I'll pay better attention next time. 

Like that. 

I told Conrad if I survive October, it will conclusively prove that I'm invincible. The other day I almost passed out while playing Blob Tag with a bunch of 10-year-olds, probably because all I'd eaten that day was a bag of M&Ms and a Dunkin Stick, and I realized that moment was pretty representative of my life lately, and maybe that needed to be addressed. Unfortunately, there's not time to address anything, so I'm just banking on life being a lot less absurd in about two weeks. Every time I type the word "unfortunately," I think of its Spanish translation, "disfortunadamente," which is a lot longer, but way funner to say. And when I look at that word typed out, "fortuna" springs out at me, and I'm reminded of one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, Ignatius J. Reilly, who marks his life by the spinning of Fortuna's great wheel. If Fortuna exists, her wheel has been a real carnival ride for me lately.

This month has been like a year. It's been completely manic at times, with incredible celebrations and spectacular spectacles (weddings, parties, gatherings, hugs, cartwheels, beautiful dresses, campfires, cakes), then suddenly turned dark and sludgy and worthless (fights, tears, impasses, junk food, pulled muscles, drought, headaches, stony silences). More than anything, October is completely imbalanced. 

October, I love you, but I will not miss you* when you go. Instead I will sit, still and quiet by the window, and watch every single leaf fall off the cherry tree. And I will be so thankful.

*EDIT: After I wrote this, that sentence felt awfully familiar. Today I remembered them as the words of Sarah Brown, my favorite person I don't know. You know you're mythic when strangers make allusions to your writing.

Art by Peter Milton for the 25th anniversary edition of Little, Big.

Oh, sigh. I'm a third of the way into Little, Big and it's perfect. I feel totally delighted and impassioned and anxious and giddy. And I'm in awe of how my relationship with this book is feeling a lot like a doomed affair. The way you're told from the get-go that it's going to be heartbreaking makes the experience of reading the story darkened with worry, but you go on anyway, because it's so beautiful. So much truth here.

When you grow up, you trade what you had as a child for what you have as a grown-up. Or if you don't, you lose it anyway, and get nothing in return.

A good reminder to loosen your grip. A tight fist can have things torn from it, but nothing will ever be placed there.

Dylan and Sarah's wedding was so beautiful and fun. Sarah looked AMAZING, like just breathtaking. There was lots of dancing (I was pressured into doing a split!) and a photobooth, probably the best wedding-reception idea ever.