Normally I love Domino magazine, but their recent "Best" issue (August 2007) is filled with stupid designer nonsense that is the exact opposite of what I want to achieve in my home: natural, unaffected, authentic style. They recommend $5K light fixtures and $600 shams (that's per pillowcase, people) and suggest that "there's nothing worse than a dining table with legs at the edges or corners," leaving us with what, Saarinen tulip tables as the only acceptable option? Also:

•  85% of the designers in their panel iron their sheets
• 60% say it's not cool to display family photos where visitors to your home could see them

Check it out, yo. 

At the studio, we've been exploring authentic movement. Susan introduced us to the concept of moving from an unconscious place, letting yourself be still until a movement impulse surprises you. We've been exploring this in partners: one person moves, another witnesses. The mover closes their eyes; no music is played. I didn't know how I would like the experience, but I've got to say that I think it's one of the most personally beneficial things I've done in months.

Limiting the stimuli that are coming at you is one important element ... no music to prompt you, no visual reminder of what anyone else is doing or of the eyes watching you. The words you use to talk about it (again with the importance of words, the ones we choose are so important!) also affect the experience: your partner is a witness, as if they just happened to see you. You're not performing, you don't have an "audience." You have a witness.

The whole thing is really a moving meditation ... letting go of thoughts about how you should move and just letting it flow. That sounds so hippie-dippy, but it's amazing how easily the movement comes when you empty yourself and how strange you sometimes find your movements to be. It's an exercise in getting to know yourself and being yourself and suspending self-judgment. 

You know what the weirdest, most surprising part about it is? Yourself is OK.

Conrad and I felt very strongly about writing our own vows for our wedding. In fact, we wrote nearly the entire text of the ceremony ourselves, with a small portion (a wedding address) left up to my brother-in-law Al, who was our officiant. I would encourage everyone getting married to consider writing their own vows, because these are the words that you will live by. Words are powerful, amazing things--why wouldn't you want to use the ones that came from your unique soul to pledge yourself to your spouse? When it comes down to it, this is what the day is all about. The vows. All the hoopla and ceremony and stuff is just there to frame the exchange of these promises.

For me and Conrad, two books were very useful. While we didn't want to use anyone else's words verbatim, it can certainly help to look through as many samples of vows and ceremony text as you can find, making notes about ideas, phrases and specific words that you want to use. One is The Knot Guide to Wedding Vows and Traditions. This book gives a nice, broad overview of the many cultural and religious traditions you can incorporate in a wedding ceremony, though the textual selections are a bit skimpy in comparison to the next book. It has some good tips for ceremony itineraries and planning and rehearsal checklists. We did select and use the following poem on the envelopes for the invitations to our reception a few weeks later:

"Two Trees," Janet Miles
A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine.
A gentle kind of togetherness, while separately we stand.
As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground,
While their topmost branches come together,
Forming a miracle of lace against the heavens.

 By far the most helpful book I looked through was The Wedding Ceremony Planner by Reverend Judith Johnson. The book is a huge compendium of opening prayers, gathering words, declarations of support, marriage addresses, vows, ring exchanges and benedictions. Since Al had never conducted a wedding ceremony before, it was essential to have as many options to look at as possible so we didn't leave out anything important and so the words used in this life-changing ceremony reflected who we were.

In the end, Conrad and I decided to surprise one another with our vows, so they would be fresh and as a sign that these words are special, to be saved for a singular and solemn time. Our exchanging of vows was by far the best moment of the day, and one of the best moments of my life.  Here are the vows we made to each other:

Conrad:

April, I feel so honored to be here with you today. You have taught me so much over the years about the way that friends and relationships can be the greatest things in life. From dressing up on Halloween to taking long walks on the beach at Tybee, we have created some the best memories of my life. Now I'm ready to make more memories and I want them all to have you in them. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. I promise to live you and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love, in an equal, honest relationship for as long as we both shall live.

April:

Conrad, I always knew there was something different and special about you. I knew that despite what first kept us apart, I wanted to love you. Now, when I reflect on how wonderful life is with you, I am in awe of how lucky, how blessed I am. Looking at how our lives prepared us to love one another, I see a plan that is greater than us. Conrad, you have loved me when there was doubt and uncertainty. I promise to love you when we are unsure and scared. You have loved me when you knew you wouldn't get any recognition or praise. I promise to love you for the sake of making you feel loved, without asking for anything in return. You have been willing to sacrifice so that I might follow my dreams. I promise to hold your dreams as important as my own and be your partner in helping to achieve them. I promise to be honest and open with you, sharing every part of my life and myself. I promise to be considerate and respectful of you, remembering always that you are my best friend. I promise to hold our love and relationship as the most important things in my life. I promise to love you in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse until death parts us. I love you.  

Totally counterintuitive news that blew my mind: running harder (ie, faster, on more challenging terrain, etc.) , or for that matter, doing any sort of exercise harder, does not make you burn more fat. In fact, you will burn less. The key? Target heart rate.

Simple solution for figuring out your target heart rate: subtract your age from 226 (220 for males) and multiply the number you get by .65. That's your target heart rate. My trainer suggested I keep my heart rate within about five beats of that rate (for me, 131) to burn maximum fat. More info is here, and it's worth reading. Weird. Can't say I'm not enjoying this new working harder/working better trade-off, though.