An evening I'd rather forget
You know how they say TV turns you into a zombie? It's completely true. Conrad was working late and I decided to turn on the tube while I ate my dinner. Boy, was that a mistake. I got up to go to the bathroom during a commercial break in The Bad Girls Club and noticed that my skin was rotting and falling off me in big, stinky chunks. Then, I went out to my car to grab some lotion for the problem and saw our neighbor's kid playing outside in the parking lot. I'm not really sure how I got from shuffling my undead body across the sidewalk in her direction to scooping brain matter out of a latte bowl with a spoon on the sofa, but I have a feeling this is going to take some explaining. Fuck you, Kim Kardashian.
April
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