I just don't have the energy.
It's been a whole month since I posted here. I started my new arrangement, my half-time-assistant-editor-in-office, half-time-freelance-writer-from-home thing on February 11. It has kept me extremely busy. It's good though. It's what I want to be doing. That, along with what feels like near-constant rehearsals for our upcoming show at Canopy, and um, just trying to feed and bathe myself, has pretty much consumed all my time. It's a bummer in some ways. I don't even have time to read blogs that I love, my craft projects are languishing, I've made no progress on my wedding album in nearly a month, it took me two months to finish reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. This space has been the last thing on my mind. Not saying I'm abandoning it, just that it is definitely not a priority. However, I do feel moved to send the following messages out into the world. Maybe there's one for you. You'll have to figure that out for yourself though.
- I think you are a real asshole, and a total liar, and you disgust me.
- I miss you fiercely and I wish we were dancing together right now.
- I'm sorry I've been so irritable lately, and I took it out on you in a really passive-agressive way, and I'm sorry.
- You are the most self-centered person I think I've ever known--it's laughable. You're driving me crazy.
- I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I crossed the line. I'm going to back off.
- You give me so much strength and I want to give as much to you. I want more than anything to have you to myself for a week, somewhere beautiful.
- I keep hoping you will just go away and never come back.
- Thank you for reading this. I means a lot to me that you take the time to come here.
April
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