Authenticity
At the studio, we've been exploring authentic movement. Susan introduced us to the concept of moving from an unconscious place, letting yourself be still until a movement impulse surprises you. We've been exploring this in partners: one person moves, another witnesses. The mover closes their eyes; no music is played. I didn't know how I would like the experience, but I've got to say that I think it's one of the most personally beneficial things I've done in months.
Limiting the stimuli that are coming at you is one important element ... no music to prompt you, no visual reminder of what anyone else is doing or of the eyes watching you. The words you use to talk about it (again with the importance of words, the ones we choose are so important!) also affect the experience: your partner is a witness, as if they just happened to see you. You're not performing, you don't have an "audience." You have a witness.
The whole thing is really a moving meditation ... letting go of thoughts about how you should move and just letting it flow. That sounds so hippie-dippy, but it's amazing how easily the movement comes when you empty yourself and how strange you sometimes find your movements to be. It's an exercise in getting to know yourself and being yourself and suspending self-judgment.
You know what the weirdest, most surprising part about it is? Yourself is OK.
April
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...compare that to your last sentence here: "yourself is ok." :) Keep saying that to yourself.