Math and language deficiencies
Tonight I was laying out the front page of the (Juniper Times), as I do, and I was reading through the lead story. It was about an event at the local high school where they simulate a drunk-driving accident and carry students covered in fake blood away in body bags so that everybody cleans up and drives straight on their way home from the Prom. As I was reading, I came across the following quote, high in the story:
"One in 10 drivers on every road is drunk," said (NHS) Assistant Principal (Tony Mayfield) over a loudspeaker to the students. "There's a 200-percent chance that you or someone in your family will either cause or be the victim to a drunk-driving accident ... The prospect is more than likely — it's a virtual certainty."
First of all, nothing is a virtual certainty. More important, though, is the math here: a 200-percent chance? WTF? Is that supposed to mean it's already happened? I was like, okay, obviously this is a typo. They meant 100 percent. Or 20 percent. So I called the editor of this paper.
She said, "Yes, I talked about that quote with (Jennifer (the writer)) and she was adamant that was what the assistant principal said. And we want to be accurate in quoting people."
Right. Even when they cite statistics that are mathematically impossible. Good journalistic principle. Let's print that.
I said, "Well, okay, so you want to leave it in then?"
She said: "Yes. I'm fairly certain he (the assistant principal) was using hyperbowl*."
I said, "Yes, (Gail), I'm certain he was using that."
*hyperbole
April
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Reader Comments (4)
Well, yeah, I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm in a car I get involved in an accident with a drunk. By the way, is the hyperbowl anything like the superbowl?
Also: hahahaha. I already heard this story, but it's still funny a second time. I can't believe I don't remember the accident I had with a drunk driver, but according to that statistic, IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED.
You guys are just wetter than wet down there, aren't you? Beer in the malls, water in the streets ... can we do a flyover with 10,000 tons of silica gel beads?