In the interest of keeping me entertained at nearly 3 a.m. without a TV
The hot-or-not-ness of the mascots/spokespeople/etc. gracing the packaging of food items from my kitchen:
- Aunt Jemima: 7.0. Nice cheekbones, pretty smile. Points docked for outdated hairdo.
- Morton Salt Girl: 6.7. Pleasant face, but brassy hair color. Hot legs, though.
- Pillsbury Doughboy: 4.6. Bad figure--he's obviously not taking care of himself. Survey doesn't factor in his personality, unfortch.
- Country Creek Eggs Lady Chicken: 4.2. I don't do gobblers.
- Martha White: 7.2. Hard to say for sure, as I'm only seeing a silhouette here, but she's got pretty hair and long eyelashes. Looks potentially busty (score!).
- Quaker Oats Man: 2.0. The double chin has got to go, to say nothing of the powdered white hair and neckerchief. I thought oatmeal, like, made you skinny.
- Spiderman for Orville Redenbacher: 9.2. Those muscles! That badassitude! That unbelievable sticky substance he keeps shooting...wait.
- Genghis Kahn (?) for Celestial Seasonings Green Tea: 3.4. Might have the potential to be hunky, but the mustache-as-tentacles look is really creeping me out. You could be unwittingly strangled by those things if you got too close.
- Uncle Ben: 5.1. Kindly face, but balding and, well, just old.
- Sister Schubert (of yeast roll fame): 5.7. Average-to-pretty with nice dark eyes and hair, but the soccer-mom hair and knit turtleneck make her look dowdier than she is.
- Marie Callender: 6.0. Pretty face, nice nose. I like nice noses. Bizarro hair though! She's totally sporting some sort of pre-rockabilly rooster 'do.
- (Fisherman) Gorton: 4.3. Three words: Paddington Bear hat. Three more words: handlebar mustache club.
April
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Reader Comments (3)
you forgot the sunmaid raisin girl. she's such a tart.